Since I haven't written here in a little while I decided to take this time, while I have it to write something, while I have a few thoughts in my head.... because lets face it , I am now a college student so who knows how long any thoughts will stay in my head.
So I am now in my 2nd week of college , and I still have to stop in my tracks walking around the college and think to myself...." I'm actually in college , how did this happen?? ". I just cant believe it sometimes. If you had said to me this time last year that I was going to be studying arts in Galway in a year I probably wouldn't have believed you . Probably because this time last year, I was a very panicked 17year old, freaking out about a new school, so many people, an unwelcome change (on my part) and a year with work that was piling on top of me , so much so that I couldn't see where things were headed , I was going day by day and generally trying to stay up with the rapid pace of a final year and big change.
But ...here I am, a year later....in Galway!! Sitting on my bed in the room I will be living in for the next year , wondering when did this all happen, and how did it happen so fast ? At times sure , leaving cert year felt like it was dragging , and so many times I wished I was not in that school anymore... at times I would have given anything to be gone to college or anywhere to be away from that place . But now looking back I can not believe how fast that year went , how everything that I was freaking out about came and went and I survived it all and came out the other side better because of all that mayhem .
So right now, I love college, I love pretty much everything about it . The people are so kind and so nice, everyone smiles here , and I love that because I smile at everyone so its really nice to have that reciprocated every now and again , I love the societies , the clubs, the lectures ( most of them ) the individuality ....pretty much college life in general . It is awesome , and I can not imagine myself in any other university then Galway right now.... I am so glad this is how it all worked out !!
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But today I realized something , today it kinda hit me how my life has changed before my eyes and its just kinda creeping up on me now. I got a phone call today from my friend and my music teacher , they needed help setting up the piano because they didn't know how to do it . Instinctively I was panicking trying to sort it out over the phone , talking about wires and plugs and whatchamacallits and thingamajigs , but then when it was all sorted and panic at both ends of the phones had subsided I thought about it . I now live 2 hours away from home, 2 hours away from my old school and my teachers and some of my friends . Obviously I knew this but it kinda came into context today. My music teacher decided to ring me , because she needed my help.... that made me feel so amazing and so special. This person who I look up to needed me to help her do something even though I wasn't there. To feel needed like that , and to feel special and wanted like that was amazing for me. For the first proper time since I have gotten here I felt home sick. I missed seeing my teachers, I missed my family, I missed my friends, I missed going into a school where everyone knew who you were , be it by association, by recognition or even by " that girl who runs around the place doing things " . I have gone from a small school where everyone knew me , and knew what I was like and was willing to help....to being 1 out of 18,000 . I am now a grain of sand on a very big beach. The anonymity of it all frightens me! Sure , now I have the freedom to be whoever I choose to be, but I think I chose to be who I am a long time ago, so I don't really plan on changing that anytime soon . Really it just occurred to me today that something that I did, even if it seemed to be small , helped someone along the way...so much so that they ring to find out what it is that I did do.
So I rang my music teacher again this evening to make sure everything was alright and all ready for tomorrow , and it was awesome talking to her, it was strange hearing her talk about something that I used to be such a big part of , and that I am heartbroken to miss, but most of all ...it was touching and special to hear her say that she missed me !!! As much as I love college and everything that comes with it , right now I am home sick .
I miss everything about home right now - especially being just Aoife .
Aoife Marie Elizabeth ♪
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